Today marks 25 full years I’ve been muddling through this world. If I’m to live to 100, I’ve now passed a quarter of the way – I suppose that counts as a milestone.

Looking Back#

Overall, the past 25 years have been relatively smooth.

A Stroke of Luck#

During my first year of high school, our class organized a spring outing to climb a mountain. We reached the summit, rested, and chatted. I spotted two classmates down below. Whether I had a brain fart or what, I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to go down and chat with them, so I started heading down the mountain. Since I wasn’t taking the regular descent route, there were no steps, just wild trails. I just kept walking, and before I knew it, gravity made me go faster and faster until I was running. Yes, to an outsider, it must have looked like an idiot sprinting down a mountain. I remember the scenery in front of me blurring more and more; my speed was definitely faster than Usain Bolt’s. Eventually, my legs couldn’t keep up, I tripped, and then I tumbled down the mountain in a front flip. Those human projectile trajectories must have been perfectly drawn. My mind went blank at the time, thinking that my great life might just end here. I sighed, but then I thought, this is where emperors are buried, so it’s worth it. Before I could think of anything else, I was suddenly stopped by a massive rock, which halted me halfway down the mountain. After I stopped, I felt something like sweat on my head, so I instinctively wiped it. When I looked, holy crap, it was red! Oh no, oh no, this time I’m definitely ending up in the hospital. The result? After a hospital check-up, it was just superficial wounds and minor stomach bleeding. Two days of anti-inflammatory shots, and I was bouncing back to school.

I was truly lucky; if it weren’t for that big rock, I might have really met my end halfway up my great X Mausoleum.

Education#

After that, I happily played games for three years in high school, which led to me spending time in the experimental class, the key class, and the regular class, all in my three years of high school. I distinctly remember a chemistry class in my senior year when the teacher said, “You already learned this in sophomore year, so we won’t cover it.” I was like: a_blank_stare.jpg. I rushed home to flip through my chemistry textbook and found that it was indeed there. I spent a month diligently catching up on the sophomore year curriculum, and then I happily went back to playing Dota. My three years of playing online games in high school directly allowed me to see through the essence of online gaming; I haven’t touched them since graduation. There’s another interesting story: one night I stayed up all night online, and the next day during morning reading, I just collapsed on my desk and slept. Our homeroom teacher, a math teacher nicknamed “Old Man,” came over, saw me sleeping, twisted my ear, and lifted me from my desk. Then he told everyone to quiet down, “Don’t be like him, always burning the midnight oil studying. Don’t you know sleeping too late will affect your classes the next day?” The whole class burst into laughter – they all knew I’d been up all night playing games.

Later, for the college entrance exam, although my Chinese score wasn’t great, my English performance was exceptionally good. I barely made it into university, scoring just one point above the provincial cutoff.

For university, I chose petroleum geology, thinking I would follow in the footsteps of Li Siguang and find oil for our nation. I entered university with such a tragic heroic sentiment, and then I played games for another four years. By the second semester of my junior year, when I was looking for a job, I had failed the CET-4 four times, even scoring 424 twice in a row. So, when CNOOC came to campus for a job fair, I’d chat well with the interviewers, but as soon as they saw I hadn’t passed CET-4, I was immediately rejected. I was very frustrated at the time, then went back to my dorm to happily play Dota. There’s another funny story: Schlumberger came to recruit at my university, and I went for an interview. The first round was purely in English. My terrible English meant I had to prepare thoroughly. When it was my turn, I started reciting my prepared self-introduction and professional knowledge, but after two sentences, I forgot the rest. So I just blabbered on, rambling for ages, and I didn’t even know what I was saying. Afterwards, the interviewer said to me, “you are so lovely,” and I passed the first round, which was amazing. Because I hadn’t passed CET-4, finding a job was very difficult at the time, yet I wasn’t panicking at all. Later, I took the CET-4 again without studying and actually passed.

Before my transcript came out, CNOOC came for campus recruitment. I went for an interview with my resume and a printed online transcript, and finally passed and received an offer. It wasn’t easy.

Work#

Where there’s oil, that’s my home#

After graduating from university, I first went to CNOOC headquarters in Tianjin for a month of training, then was assigned to the Shenzhen branch to develop the South China Sea. Wow, the South China Sea, our nation’s blue territory, it was all up to me! I underwent extensive safety training in Shenzhen, and then at a welcome reception, I was told I was assigned to the HYSY981 platform. My goodness, I was so incredibly lucky! HYSY981 was the most advanced semi-submersible platform in China at the time; I can’t express how happy I was. I eagerly awaited going offshore, and while waiting with bated breath, I forced myself to learn swimming out of fear of drowning if I fell into the sea. Around late September, we were told we could go offshore. A group of colleagues and I traveled from Shenzhen to the Zhanjiang branch, where the leaders treated us to a huge feast, eating from 5 PM until 2 AM, saying it was our send-off. The next day, we took a boat from Zhanjiang to Hainan, then waited for a helicopter for nearly two weeks. The day before the helicopter arrived, a group of senior colleagues treated us to another big meal. They said it was a custom to eat well before going offshore and to have another big meal upon returning, given the danger of not coming back.

Once on the platform, the first few days were spent on tours and training. A foreign expert gave us lectures and led us on a tour of the platform’s various facilities. I realized then that my English wasn’t bad; I could understand most of it, haha. The whole training process was quite enjoyable; the platform was huge, and walking around, looking, and eating, a week just flew by. During the tour, I discovered that the sea was truly blue and beautiful. It was a shame that photography wasn’t allowed on the platform due to safety concerns. I also made an additional discovery: whether you can swim or not doesn’t really matter. The platform deck is over 30 meters above sea level; if you fall, you’ll either die or be severely injured, so don’t count on swimming to save your life. After the training, some classmates left, while a few of us stayed to start working directly. I was one of those who had to start working. And right off the bat, I was put on night shifts. Night shifts, they’re truly unpleasant. I started at 12 AM, working with a graduate student from Sun Yat-sen University. At 6 AM, we went down for a meal. After eating, I asked my mentor, “When do we go back to work after eating?” He replied, “Right after eating.” Holy crap. I went back to the deck. It was just past 6 AM, the sun hadn’t risen yet, the sea was still dark, and the sky was covered in continuous clouds, very oppressive. And the thought of having to work another six hours made me feel like jumping into the sea.

I stayed on the platform for about a month in total, and then I tendered my resignation. I couldn’t do that job.

I went to process my resignation, but the senior leader wasn’t there to sign, so I just went home without waiting. My parents gave me a good scolding, saying that such a good job was hard to find, yet I quit after only a few days. I’m thick-skinned, so I ignored them. It happened to be autumn recruitment season, so I went to interviews again, looking for a land-based job. I interviewed with CNOOC again, and I passed, but I didn’t have the three-party agreement when it was time to sign. They directly rejected me, saying they only recruited fresh graduates, as state-owned enterprises have social responsibilities. My heart, which was set on serving the nation and believing “where there’s oil, that’s my home,” was thus put to rest. I decided to switch majors and pursue a master’s degree in computer science, as I had always been interested, and two years of browsing Zhihu in university made me think the computer industry had good prospects. I bought a few textbooks and studied at home, planning to self-study for the postgraduate entrance exam. When my parents learned of my plan, they were quite unsupportive, saying it wasn’t right for a young man my age to be holed up at home all day. So, the idea of postgraduate studies was dropped. I decided to just look for a job. Coincidentally, a few classmates were working in frontend development, and after chatting with them, I thought it seemed pretty good. I self-studied for two months at home, then submitted a few resumes online. After several rounds of phone and video interviews, I received an offer. I then set off for Hangzhou after the New Year.

Hangzhou#

The day before I was supposed to report to the company, I was poached by who would become my first manager. I ended up breaking my original agreement and went to work for him. My manager was very good to me, and I was very happy with my work. After about a year and a half, the company was listed on the New Third Board, and then the entire company became incredibly restless.

I felt I couldn’t stay, so I went out to look for a job and ended up at NetEase.

I happily worked at NetEase for another two years, going from being described as “full of collagen” when I first joined to “you must be born in ‘88,” which means I’ve grown a lot. I originally planned to stay for at least three years, at least until the new campus was renovated and I could experience moving in. However, too many colleagues in my team were poached by Ant Group; almost everyone who joined with me was gone, effectively wiping out the whole team. Plus, at the beginning of the year, I was in a very tight financial spot and desperately needed money, and the Jiebei service for Alibaba employees perfectly met my needs. So, I fell for an old colleague’s trick and came to Alibaba.

In the first few months at Alibaba, the most common thing I heard was: “You’ve gained weight.” And I really had. Within two months of coming to Alibaba, my weight shot up from 60kg to 68kg. I didn’t have any direct feeling about it until one morning, I woke up, picked up a pair of pants I had bought two months prior, and when I put them on, I realized, holy crap, I couldn’t button them up. In that instant, I felt so unreal, like I hadn’t woken up from a dream, unable to believe such a thing could happen to me. Because my goal since university was 65kg, but even after graduating and working for three and a half years, my weight had always hovered around 60kg; I was truly one of those people who couldn’t gain weight no matter how much I ate. But now, this sudden surge in weight made me truly feel that my body had undergone a huge change. My explanation for this is: stress-induced weight gain.

I can very clearly feel that the work pressure is damn high, roughly double that of NetEase. My personal time has been greatly compressed; I barely have time for harmonica, games, or anything else. My diary is almost a quarterly journal, and life has lost many possibilities.

I once felt regret, but since I’m already here, what, am I going to run away? That would make me a coward, just kidding. Besides, as a professional, I can’t do that. So I’ll just work hard here. The platform is big, my senior colleague who guides me is good, and my manager is also decent. What more could I ask for? At least I should achieve something, to be worthy of myself.

Getting Rich Overnight#

I started stock trading in 2015 and immediately experienced the big crash of 2015, almost halving my investment. It fluctuated until I exited the stock and fund markets in early 2018. I did the math: with a maximum total investment of 60,000, I actually made over 30,000, an average annualized return of about 14.5%, which isn’t bad.

In 2017, I tried crypto mining, but then I didn’t feel it was right, so I went into crypto trading. I even wrote an automated trading system for it. The result was fierce operations like a tiger, but I lost 6,500 in two months. Who would have thought I’d become a diligent leek?

Wandering Around#

During university, I went on geological fieldwork almost every year. The places we went were all remote wilderness, where you couldn’t see anyone else for half a mile except for our fellow interns. We climbed mountains, walked through valleys, measured geological attitudes, and drew many geological maps. With a geological hammer in hand, who else in the world could compare to me? At the time, I thought such a job might not be bad in the future, being able to travel all over our nation’s beautiful landscapes.

In 2017, I went to Japan with my company and experienced the chill of capitalism. This was also my first time going abroad, and it felt quite novel. Japanese cities are truly clean, even Hokkaido, which I consider a big rural area. However, most meals there are cold, which I’m still not used to. My first time visiting a zoo was also during this trip abroad, haha.

In 2018, I took half a month off between jobs and traveled alone to Thailand. After buying the ticket, I told my family. They thought I was unfamiliar with the place, and traveling alone abroad wasn’t safe, so they worried about me. After listening, I thought it over carefully and almost backed out, but then I saw that canceling the ticket would cost half the price, so I decided to go anyway. Only after I went did I discover that my clumsy English could actually allow for normal communication, and the taxi driver even complimented my English. I was quite ashamed. The scenery in Thailand is quite good, and the cost of living is low. I was also very free by myself, sleeping until eleven in the morning before heading out, wandering wherever I wanted, feeling very leisurely.

Playing Instruments and Singing#

Since coming to Hangzhou in 2015, for over three years, I’ve been moving between several resettlement housing complexes near the company. First, I endured the gongs and drums of evangelists early in the morning, followed by the playing of instruments and singing for weddings and funerals. These performances, these performances, before they were regulated, were exaggeratedly frequent, averaging once a month, lasting a week each time. In winter, it was even worse, about three times in two months. And the people in these complexes really loved it; they would gather every day to play instruments, sing, and perform shamanistic rituals. At first, I didn’t understand why, but later I realized that most residents in these resettlement homes are elderly people who don’t have much to do, so they might as well gather to play and sing.

I often think, what if I’m like that when I’m old? The thought frightens me.

So I decided to cultivate a hobby for myself. After some deliberation, I chose the blues harmonica – simple, convenient, and easy to pick up. Actually, I had tried to self-learn some random instruments before, but my enthusiasm never lasted more than half a year. This time is the longest I’ve stuck with something so far, intermittently for over a year now. I can play most songs that don’t have a low 6 (note), and occasionally entertaining myself makes me very happy.

Entertainment#

Movies#

I basically watch all movies that are released.

Alone, With two people, With three people, With guys, With girls, With guys and girls.

I really love watching movies. For those two hours, you can think of nothing else, fully immerse yourself in the film, and follow the plot. This feeling is truly enjoyable.

Drinking#

A little drink is good.

Singing#

I used to listen to Jay Chou, JJ Lin, and S.H.E. Now I listen to Jacky Cheung and Bobby Chen. The songs I sing have changed accordingly, so much so that when I open my mouth in KTV, people say, “You’re a post-80s, aren’t you?” Haha, it really reveals my age.

Harmonica#

Self-entertainment, very good.

Renting#

Since coming to Hangzhou, I’ve basically changed places every year, three times in four years, and I still haven’t escaped a resettlement housing complex near the company. However, this situation should temporarily stop for a while. Around September, I planned to look for a new place again because my current place was too poor, noisy, and damp to live in. A colleague found out and told me I could apply for a talent apartment. I thought Alibaba also had this channel, but it turned out to be a personal application. I thought, whatever, it’s a bit expensive, but the conditions are good. So I submitted the application. I asked the administrator how long it would take, and they said, “priority based on merit.” I immediately thought, “Oh no, with my crappy bachelor’s degree, I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait,” so I didn’t take it seriously.

I went out looking for apartments every week, but I never found anything ideal; they were either too expensive or too bad. Even when I stopped looking myself and relied entirely on agents, suitable options were rare. I can only say that Binjiang’s rent is really something; if my stocks rose like that, I’d wake up laughing in my sleep. Then yesterday, on the 11th, they told me my application was approved and asked me to view the apartment. I ate something early at the cafeteria and took a taxi over. I saw it, and it was great; I booked it immediately. My two-month apartment hunt thus ended, and I can foresee not moving for two or three years, which makes me happy. However, I’ll have to part ways with my roommate of two or three years, which is quite sad. But all good things must come to an end. C’est la vie.

End of Looking Back#

Overall, the past 25 years have been quite smooth, and I am a very optimistic person, so I’m quite satisfied with the past. In the past two years, I’ve often heard relatives and friends tell me, “You’re doing great.” I had never heard similar words before. Perhaps it’s reaching an age where people’s expectations of you are no longer about how well you’re studying, but how well you’re living. Although these past few years have indeed been a bit tiring, overall, I’m quite satisfied with the current situation and feel content. “I’m doing great.”

I recall a line from Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace:

There are only two real misfortunes in life: a bad conscience and illness. As long as these two great evils are absent, one is happy.

I strongly agree with this, so I believe I am quite happy right now.

Forced Outlook#

Recently, the economic situation hasn’t been very optimistic. I have to pay my mortgage, repay money borrowed from friends, and pay rent, plus daily expenses. My monthly salary is truly a drop in the bucket. Fortunately, I don’t have very high material demands; otherwise, it would be very painful.

Aside from these, if I absolutely had to point out other dissatisfactions, it would be that I used to live too simply, too down-to-earth, too naive, believing that sincerity was the most important thing in human interaction. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that, but life inevitably loses a lot of fun. When people interact with you, and I reveal too much too soon, telling them everything, it’s not quite appropriate, is it?

So, for the next few years, I plan not to be too real, too simple, or too naive. I’ll act a bit pretentious, just enough to add some fun to life, treating it as an experiment to see what changes. I believe that a change in lifestyle should also lead to a different understanding